Trust?

~Trust, defined means an assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, and/or truth of someone or something.

~Friend defined is one attached to another by affection or esteem.

There is no denying I have trust issues. I dont even try to hide that fact, in fact, I am completely honest about that fact. And sadly as the years move on, and I grow "Older" and wiser, I trust fewer and fewer people.

There is someone in my family, who has a very similar attitude, or way of thinking, who doesnt get along with many people, and who prefers to remain to herself, with select family around her, sadly even some of her children are not included in that inner circle. I know I am not completely the same thinking as her, as I allow people into my life, and am willing to trust, but it is something a person has to earn, and can very easily be lost. I do not want to end up pushing people away though, and I do my best to make sure that the people who mean so much to me remain in my life.

There are very few people in which I trust completely. I know I can rely on them for anything, and they happen to be wonderful people, and great friends and family.

Being lied to so much throughout life about various instances has made me very cynical. I see the world through shaded glasses. Which in short means, while I believe in the good in people, I dont necessarily believe in people. Which I do not mean to sound condescending about it but that is how I feel about most people.

When you go through life believing something about someone that wasnt true to begin with, then MANY years later to find out that what you thought was true actually was fabricated, brings about a whole lot of questions, as to what actually was the truth.

I have a good support system in my life. People, who like I said, I trust emphatically, who help me to understand and make sense of many things.

Family is a great thing, especially when they are on your side.

I read a question once, asking "Are you the same person you were 5 years ago?"
Well, I am the same person I was 5 years ago, only wiser. With the help of my great friends and family.
However, I am not the same person I was in High School, or that I was as a child. I have not only grown up, and found truths in my life, but I have become MORE secure in who I am, and where I belong. And all the while, in High School, I trusted many more people than I do now, and felt worse about myself.

I am happy with who I am, and dont regret anything in life. Sometimes I try to figure out why I have gone through certain things, try to figure out what is what from the past, BUT I wouldnt change any of it if I could.
I was told before I should regret not going to prom, being a wall flower- anti-social, not having a lot of friends in school. I dont, not by a long shot, none of that would make me who I am. I went to a dance for school in 7th grade, it was boring, and I had no fun. being Anti-Social, or more a Wall Flower that doesnt bother me either, why? because, I know who my true friends are now, and I knew then that people who wanted to know me did know me.

I do not go out of my way to meet people. But I let people into my life, if they choose to be in it. I do my best not to push people away. And I am as true a friend to them as I can be. And I hope they return the favor.

Regretting anything in life, wont get you anywhere. However it will get you a scar on your soul. It gets you a pain in your heart, and gets you questioning much about life.
No, I dont regret anything about my life. Yup some of the things, that have happened have really sucked, some of them have been pretty difficult to deal with, but MANY of them recently have been wonderful.

What I have treasured most the past few years, besides my hubby and daughter (which is the greatest treasure), is learning things about my dad and being able to spend some time with him and my "mom" (step-mom sounds a little mean to me), bringing some great people back into my life, whom have become family. And one that is right up there with my hubby and daughter, is becoming closer with my sister.

Trust is fading in many people, simply because they dont try to keep it. Trust is Not freely given, it must be earned, and maintained, so to speak, because it can very easily be lost.



In life there are very few GREAT people who walk into your life and stay. KEEP them close. Dont let them slip away. Guard them with your heart. Treasure them. And know they are there for you.

For those who mean the world to me, and you know who you are, Thank you for being there for me, thank you for letting me trust in you, thank you for being you. I greatly treasure you, and the fact that you are in my life. Not just now, but ALWAYS.

Much Love.