So it has been a VERY long time since my last post, but things have been crazy since my last post.
Visiting my family and my first time(s) on a plane were not so bad. Is it something I would venture again probably, but I would probably be as worried if not more when getting on a plane again.
Heights and small spaces just arent my best of friends.
This year has been insane, starting the entire year, but finally some stress has gone, no details of course and no names either, but I am glad things are coming back to a sense of normalcy and that is a huge help in my stress levels.
Since I am the type that overly stresses to begin with, it is a big help that things are returning to a "normal" place.
I miss my family very much, but always do and I hope they know that.
This year I have put a lot of focus into my daughters school and helping out there. I have helped every year, which I am thankful I am able to do. But I enjoy working (or my form there of) at the school. Its a great thing.
Clubs and more clubs this year but that is perfectly fine with me, it keeps the little one busy and allows her to be around some of her friends more often which I am thankful for.
With everything that happened in the summer of 09 after our return from California, I am glad that she has this this school year to do.
Best of wishes to all for the remaining of this year! and much love.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Thursday, June 25, 2009
June
June has stunk, in more ways that one, I have been overly stressed out, super tired, and have had so much going on that it is insane.
Right now, I am awaiting some tests and test results to see what our next step is with hubbies mom.
My head is a mess, my sanity is at its wits end, and I am just super stressed out.
I know why some of the reasons are, and am working on getting those fixed, to the best of my ability. I have managed to take away some stress, and am working on others.
I know that some of my worry is from getting on a plane in a short time. For the first time, I am afraid of planes, afraid of heights, afraid of closed in places, and very claustrophobic. But either way, I am super excited either way. I am going to see family, and spend time with family that I havent seen or spent time with in a while. Which is cool. And my daughter gets to meet more of our family, which is pretty cool as well.
Half way through the year, I have read my sister's update to her resolutions, and am as usual, very impressed. She is a very impressive wonderful person. And I am glad she is trying some new things.
My life is busy, and this summer I have been outside a lot. which is fine. I jsut thought I would update you on whats going on
Right now, I am awaiting some tests and test results to see what our next step is with hubbies mom.
My head is a mess, my sanity is at its wits end, and I am just super stressed out.
I know why some of the reasons are, and am working on getting those fixed, to the best of my ability. I have managed to take away some stress, and am working on others.
I know that some of my worry is from getting on a plane in a short time. For the first time, I am afraid of planes, afraid of heights, afraid of closed in places, and very claustrophobic. But either way, I am super excited either way. I am going to see family, and spend time with family that I havent seen or spent time with in a while. Which is cool. And my daughter gets to meet more of our family, which is pretty cool as well.
Half way through the year, I have read my sister's update to her resolutions, and am as usual, very impressed. She is a very impressive wonderful person. And I am glad she is trying some new things.
My life is busy, and this summer I have been outside a lot. which is fine. I jsut thought I would update you on whats going on
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Recently Realized
I have been under a lot of stress lately, as well as very irritable, and little things seem to set me off. Everyone has those times, I am not imagining it.
I have been having a really hard time sleeping lately, no big deal or so it seems, because I have never really slept well, only it is a big deal, I am MORE tired all the dang time waking up at 2 in the morning, just about every morning, and waking up at 12 this morning, What fun! I do manage to fall back asleep for like 15 minutes or so, then I am awake again, laying there trying to go back to sleep. It really sucks.
But the reason for this blog entry, my sister just wrote a blog not to long ago about what makes her tick. And after all this stuff going on, recent events made me want to write this blog and tell you something that really REALLY irritates me.
I have known for years, that people putting words in my mouth or volunteering me for something really aggravates me. But lately it has been getting under my skin more and more.
For Example, I like going on walks, and I do not mind taking my daughter and one of her friends with me when I go, however, one of her other friends, this past weekend, assumed I didnt mind, and NEVER asked me if it was alright if she went. Asked their parent if it was okay if they could go, and then I had to take them. The whole time they whined, and complained. And really got under my skin. I am not wrong in being irritated, I was not asked if this person could come in the first place. I was not asked if I wanted to go on a walk. I was told I was going on a walk (twice this week in fact) and then was told this child was coming along.
If you want to come along FINE, ASK ME, and if I say its okay, then ask your parent. Thats my point!
Another example my daughter came up to me Monday told me "we wanna go on a walk, lets go, and her (not inserting names) mom wont take us" There was NO, "Mom can you please go on a walk with us," No, "Mom we'd like to go on a walk, can you go with us" And more importantly no thank you in the end. More irritation ensues.
Breaking point. (hahah yeah its funny) Two days ago I was told there is a dance at my childs school coming up. No big deal. I was not told she wanted to go, she never said a word to me about going, until after she was asked by her dad if she wanted to go. THEN I was told I could take her. Not asked, not anything.
Ok, so maybe I am a bit overboard, but I do not like and will not be taken advantage of. I am a pretty nice person I think, and have a very giving heart. I am willing to do anything for friends and family. BUT ASK! DONT ASSUME.
Dont just think that because I am willing to do anything, that you can volunteer me to do something, without putting it across me first!
Oh yeah, I also to not like being talked Rude to, or being ignored. HA! Thus the main reason for a lot of the stress. Wont go into that, have done enough ranting for now
Yeah I am crabby, BFD, give me a break, I havent slept a lot lately, and everyone who knows me knows how Pleasant I am when I dont sleep.
And dont tell me to get over it. I am justified in feeling this way.
I have been having a really hard time sleeping lately, no big deal or so it seems, because I have never really slept well, only it is a big deal, I am MORE tired all the dang time waking up at 2 in the morning, just about every morning, and waking up at 12 this morning, What fun! I do manage to fall back asleep for like 15 minutes or so, then I am awake again, laying there trying to go back to sleep. It really sucks.
But the reason for this blog entry, my sister just wrote a blog not to long ago about what makes her tick. And after all this stuff going on, recent events made me want to write this blog and tell you something that really REALLY irritates me.
I have known for years, that people putting words in my mouth or volunteering me for something really aggravates me. But lately it has been getting under my skin more and more.
For Example, I like going on walks, and I do not mind taking my daughter and one of her friends with me when I go, however, one of her other friends, this past weekend, assumed I didnt mind, and NEVER asked me if it was alright if she went. Asked their parent if it was okay if they could go, and then I had to take them. The whole time they whined, and complained. And really got under my skin. I am not wrong in being irritated, I was not asked if this person could come in the first place. I was not asked if I wanted to go on a walk. I was told I was going on a walk (twice this week in fact) and then was told this child was coming along.
If you want to come along FINE, ASK ME, and if I say its okay, then ask your parent. Thats my point!
Another example my daughter came up to me Monday told me "we wanna go on a walk, lets go, and her (not inserting names) mom wont take us" There was NO, "Mom can you please go on a walk with us," No, "Mom we'd like to go on a walk, can you go with us" And more importantly no thank you in the end. More irritation ensues.
Breaking point. (hahah yeah its funny) Two days ago I was told there is a dance at my childs school coming up. No big deal. I was not told she wanted to go, she never said a word to me about going, until after she was asked by her dad if she wanted to go. THEN I was told I could take her. Not asked, not anything.
Ok, so maybe I am a bit overboard, but I do not like and will not be taken advantage of. I am a pretty nice person I think, and have a very giving heart. I am willing to do anything for friends and family. BUT ASK! DONT ASSUME.
Dont just think that because I am willing to do anything, that you can volunteer me to do something, without putting it across me first!
Oh yeah, I also to not like being talked Rude to, or being ignored. HA! Thus the main reason for a lot of the stress. Wont go into that, have done enough ranting for now
Yeah I am crabby, BFD, give me a break, I havent slept a lot lately, and everyone who knows me knows how Pleasant I am when I dont sleep.
And dont tell me to get over it. I am justified in feeling this way.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Online Games
No, not online gaming, just games that are online....more specifically myspace apps is what I am talking about.
I am very opinionated, no doubt about it right?! Well I have tried many many of the apps off of myspace, and let me tell ya something, its funny, none of the apps have managed to keep my attention for very long, none except for Super Poke Pets. I have played upwards of 30 applications/games off of that website, and only SPP has managed to keep my attention for a long time. The only game I still have besides that one is Mafia Wars, and that is only because I have recruited so many people on it... But SPP is the main game I play. :)
(imagine an evil laugh here)
So, to explain, its a virtual pet, not like super pets in some ways, because you can not fight other pets, but you can play with other pets, and you can design your own habitat, and collect things on there. It is a great game, and sadly, kind of addictive. I have found myself spending a lot of time on there trying to get this or that or the other. Not being able to completely find all I am looking for, because they sold out or were retired a long time ago, and no one wants to part with them, unless you have gold items (which costs real cash btw) And I can not spend our money on that. But the game is fun, decorating rooms and the sort. Every Thursday they come out with new items, and you earn coins by playing with other peoples pet, as well as your own. Its fun. I have gotten the little one into playing it, and she has adopted two pets, plus we have one on hubby's account as well.
So, here is a snapshot of my current habitat. I just wanted to share it, because I am quite amused with this game, and think its pretty fun and wonderful!
If you would like to play the game find it in the myspace app gallery, or click on my pet and add it....its really grrreat I tell ya.... And ADDICTING...
Hello, my name is Jennifer, and I am an SPP addict.
Hello my name is Jennifer, and I am a Tammy Fan CLUB Member....
:)
I am very opinionated, no doubt about it right?! Well I have tried many many of the apps off of myspace, and let me tell ya something, its funny, none of the apps have managed to keep my attention for very long, none except for Super Poke Pets. I have played upwards of 30 applications/games off of that website, and only SPP has managed to keep my attention for a long time. The only game I still have besides that one is Mafia Wars, and that is only because I have recruited so many people on it... But SPP is the main game I play. :)
(imagine an evil laugh here)
So, to explain, its a virtual pet, not like super pets in some ways, because you can not fight other pets, but you can play with other pets, and you can design your own habitat, and collect things on there. It is a great game, and sadly, kind of addictive. I have found myself spending a lot of time on there trying to get this or that or the other. Not being able to completely find all I am looking for, because they sold out or were retired a long time ago, and no one wants to part with them, unless you have gold items (which costs real cash btw) And I can not spend our money on that. But the game is fun, decorating rooms and the sort. Every Thursday they come out with new items, and you earn coins by playing with other peoples pet, as well as your own. Its fun. I have gotten the little one into playing it, and she has adopted two pets, plus we have one on hubby's account as well.
So, here is a snapshot of my current habitat. I just wanted to share it, because I am quite amused with this game, and think its pretty fun and wonderful!
If you would like to play the game find it in the myspace app gallery, or click on my pet and add it....its really grrreat I tell ya.... And ADDICTING...
Hello, my name is Jennifer, and I am an SPP addict.
Hello my name is Jennifer, and I am a Tammy Fan CLUB Member....
:)
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Winter Blues
Winter is a beautiful time of year, seeing the untouched snow, is absolutely amazing. And besides the cold, winter is actually nice.
Many people suffer from a depression, or depression symptoms that occur only during the winter, or worsen during the winter. Some would say it doesnt really exist or that people are just being dramatic.
Winter Blues, or whatever its medical term is, is an actual ailment. It exists. Dont doubt it.
Winter is a hard time of year for many people. I have seen my mom go through the winter blues every year. The winter always seems to be the worst time of year for her.
This year, I think it may have hit me too. The past few weeks, I have been very standoffish, so to speak, I have kept to me myself and my family, which isnt too unusual, but I have been feeling depressed, and I have felt a tremendous pressure on me (not a physical pressure, just an emotional one) Its hard to explain.
Times are tough all over the nation for everyone. And they seem to be getting only tougher. We are doing the best we can with what we have, but the pressure and stress sometimes gets to you.
I try my best not to let stress get to me at all, it doesnt work most of the time, because I am a pretty tightly wound person. Its just part of who I am. But I have also done my best to not let it show. Which sadly I have done a pretty good job of.
Anyway this week with my child being sick on top of all of this, has put me in more of a funk than I have been in, or so it feels to me, but I have also decided I needed to wake up and pull myself out, for family, for friends, for those who need me and who believe in me.
Winter blues exist people, dont let them get to you, and if they do, dont let them pull you down. And dont do what I have done, and stop emailing, talking to, and doing all that stuff. Especially if email is the only contact you have with certain people.
I am sorry for it. BUt I am doing my best to work through it.
I love you guys!
Many people suffer from a depression, or depression symptoms that occur only during the winter, or worsen during the winter. Some would say it doesnt really exist or that people are just being dramatic.
Winter Blues, or whatever its medical term is, is an actual ailment. It exists. Dont doubt it.
Winter is a hard time of year for many people. I have seen my mom go through the winter blues every year. The winter always seems to be the worst time of year for her.
This year, I think it may have hit me too. The past few weeks, I have been very standoffish, so to speak, I have kept to me myself and my family, which isnt too unusual, but I have been feeling depressed, and I have felt a tremendous pressure on me (not a physical pressure, just an emotional one) Its hard to explain.
Times are tough all over the nation for everyone. And they seem to be getting only tougher. We are doing the best we can with what we have, but the pressure and stress sometimes gets to you.
I try my best not to let stress get to me at all, it doesnt work most of the time, because I am a pretty tightly wound person. Its just part of who I am. But I have also done my best to not let it show. Which sadly I have done a pretty good job of.
Anyway this week with my child being sick on top of all of this, has put me in more of a funk than I have been in, or so it feels to me, but I have also decided I needed to wake up and pull myself out, for family, for friends, for those who need me and who believe in me.
Winter blues exist people, dont let them get to you, and if they do, dont let them pull you down. And dont do what I have done, and stop emailing, talking to, and doing all that stuff. Especially if email is the only contact you have with certain people.
I am sorry for it. BUt I am doing my best to work through it.
I love you guys!
Monday, January 26, 2009
Music Lyrics.
Ok, I was just watching something on the tv, that really sort of pissed me off.
Not that they dont rag on Britney Spears enough, they found something else to complain about.
On one of her songs, "If you Seek Amy" Has that exact lyric in it, The chorus is:
"Love me, hate me
Say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy
Love me, hate me
But can’t you see what I see?
All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy
Love me, hate me"
Ok big deal right, WRONG. The News Anchor that I was watching "Megyn Kelly" on Fox News (and apparently other news organizations) are making a big deal about it, because the way it is sung, it SOUNDS like she is saying
"All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to F- U - C- K Me"
And now the song faces a ban on radios, at least during the time when children listen to the radio.
Alright, here is what I have a complaint about.
There was a song out when I was a teenager, ALWAYS played on the Radio that says the following:
"If you're horny lets do it
Ride it my pony
My saddle's waiting
Come and jump on it
If you're horny lets do it
Ride it my pony
My saddle's waiting
Come and jump on it"
Clearing alluding to sex. So whats the big deal if the Britney Spears song may sound similar to her spelling out the"F-Bomb?" I have heard it in many songs, and I have no complaints. If they are going to sensor that song, then they need to sensor more songs than just that.
Parents complaining about the "If You Seek Amy" Song, is ridiculous. If you are really serious about it, go listen to some of the other songs your children are listening to, and try to interpret those too. Gosh before we know it, there will be no songs playing on the radio, because they all have some sort of inuendo or something.
GET A LIFE PEOPLE, I guess you all have to have something to complain about, but leave song and the lyrics alone.
If you dont want to, go back and analyze song lyrics from when you were younger you will realize they probably were hinting at things, or didnt mean what you thought they meant.
Britney Spears is a grown woman, as are any of these other singers that people want to pick on, she is entitled to sing whatever she wishes. If you don't like the song, turn the channel, or flip the radio off, and dont buy the cd, for yourself or your children. Protest it in that way, not by making a big to-do about it on television.
The News and the things people complain about with celebrities is stupid anymore. Give the people a rest, let them live their lifes, and let them do what they need to do. Besides being famous what more have they done that "Normal" People havent done.
Leave the friggin song alone!
Everyone has to have something to complain about, but gees that is completely stupid as far as sensoring a song, because of what it may sound like. As opposed to what the words actually are!
Not that they dont rag on Britney Spears enough, they found something else to complain about.
On one of her songs, "If you Seek Amy" Has that exact lyric in it, The chorus is:
"Love me, hate me
Say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy
Love me, hate me
But can’t you see what I see?
All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy
Love me, hate me"
Ok big deal right, WRONG. The News Anchor that I was watching "Megyn Kelly" on Fox News (and apparently other news organizations) are making a big deal about it, because the way it is sung, it SOUNDS like she is saying
"All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to F- U - C- K Me"
And now the song faces a ban on radios, at least during the time when children listen to the radio.
Alright, here is what I have a complaint about.
There was a song out when I was a teenager, ALWAYS played on the Radio that says the following:
"If you're horny lets do it
Ride it my pony
My saddle's waiting
Come and jump on it
If you're horny lets do it
Ride it my pony
My saddle's waiting
Come and jump on it"
Clearing alluding to sex. So whats the big deal if the Britney Spears song may sound similar to her spelling out the"F-Bomb?" I have heard it in many songs, and I have no complaints. If they are going to sensor that song, then they need to sensor more songs than just that.
Parents complaining about the "If You Seek Amy" Song, is ridiculous. If you are really serious about it, go listen to some of the other songs your children are listening to, and try to interpret those too. Gosh before we know it, there will be no songs playing on the radio, because they all have some sort of inuendo or something.
GET A LIFE PEOPLE, I guess you all have to have something to complain about, but leave song and the lyrics alone.
If you dont want to, go back and analyze song lyrics from when you were younger you will realize they probably were hinting at things, or didnt mean what you thought they meant.
Britney Spears is a grown woman, as are any of these other singers that people want to pick on, she is entitled to sing whatever she wishes. If you don't like the song, turn the channel, or flip the radio off, and dont buy the cd, for yourself or your children. Protest it in that way, not by making a big to-do about it on television.
The News and the things people complain about with celebrities is stupid anymore. Give the people a rest, let them live their lifes, and let them do what they need to do. Besides being famous what more have they done that "Normal" People havent done.
Leave the friggin song alone!
Everyone has to have something to complain about, but gees that is completely stupid as far as sensoring a song, because of what it may sound like. As opposed to what the words actually are!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Update:To Snow or Not to Snow
Yeah, well it snowed, it came down in little tiny pellet like flakes. On the ground it looked like little pellets, it was quite interesting. Enough to dust, but not much more. BUT it is Very cold. It is 6:19 in the morning and only 9 degrees, supposed to remain about that the rest of the day.
Yesterday we had some MAJOR internet issues, of course we called our ISP, and got the run around, they said our modem wasnt even connected to their network, which was supposedly weird, because we had only just been disconnected. And the only way we are removed from the network is if we had had our modem off for like more than a day. Well this lovely even left us without interenet for 2 hours. Some lady from our ISP called and said that we should be back up, but there were reports from four other people in our area with the same problem. We came back up eventually, ran well better than usual I would say, then we went off again and came back on and then off and then back on and off again....SO they got some issues to work with. And because we are only residential we are not a priority to them. Doesnt that suck!
So who know whats going to happen there. I guess only time will tell.
Anyway, it did snow, not enough to accumulate a whole lot, only a light dusting like I said, but it was rather interesting none the less.
Yesterday we had some MAJOR internet issues, of course we called our ISP, and got the run around, they said our modem wasnt even connected to their network, which was supposedly weird, because we had only just been disconnected. And the only way we are removed from the network is if we had had our modem off for like more than a day. Well this lovely even left us without interenet for 2 hours. Some lady from our ISP called and said that we should be back up, but there were reports from four other people in our area with the same problem. We came back up eventually, ran well better than usual I would say, then we went off again and came back on and then off and then back on and off again....SO they got some issues to work with. And because we are only residential we are not a priority to them. Doesnt that suck!
So who know whats going to happen there. I guess only time will tell.
Anyway, it did snow, not enough to accumulate a whole lot, only a light dusting like I said, but it was rather interesting none the less.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
To Snow or Not to Snow
That is the question, whether it is going to happen or not, has me wondering. And by a snow, I mean accumulating.
While it is VERY cold, in the low 20's and going to get colder over the next few days, (Friday's Low is -4 degrees) The Meteorologists have said that over the past week every day there has been a chance of snow.
So far, not much, and as of this minute there is nothing on the ground. The way they were explaining it on the news this morning, it was going to come down big time, and going to be a mess.
Well What besides the cold is out there right now? Clouds, and More COLD, and a Very little bit of snow
Besides the idiots that get out in drive like maniacs in the bad weather. The snow is SO beautiful, I love to look at the untouched Snow and the snow on the trees is beautiful. But we havent had that so far this winter, we have had snow on the ground, but within a few days its gone, and not enough to get out and go sledding in or play in. Thats all the fun of the snow.
Will it come or not, I dont know, I am not a forecaster! But I would like to see it come...But then again, if it does, then school could be canceled, and then I can go bonkers trying to find things to do for the little one, which isn't too hard, but she gets bored easy. But I am supposed to go in tomorrow to help out...we will see how things work out.
To Snow or Not to Snow That is the Question.....
While it is VERY cold, in the low 20's and going to get colder over the next few days, (Friday's Low is -4 degrees) The Meteorologists have said that over the past week every day there has been a chance of snow.
So far, not much, and as of this minute there is nothing on the ground. The way they were explaining it on the news this morning, it was going to come down big time, and going to be a mess.
Well What besides the cold is out there right now? Clouds, and More COLD, and a Very little bit of snow
Besides the idiots that get out in drive like maniacs in the bad weather. The snow is SO beautiful, I love to look at the untouched Snow and the snow on the trees is beautiful. But we havent had that so far this winter, we have had snow on the ground, but within a few days its gone, and not enough to get out and go sledding in or play in. Thats all the fun of the snow.
Will it come or not, I dont know, I am not a forecaster! But I would like to see it come...But then again, if it does, then school could be canceled, and then I can go bonkers trying to find things to do for the little one, which isn't too hard, but she gets bored easy. But I am supposed to go in tomorrow to help out...we will see how things work out.
To Snow or Not to Snow That is the Question.....
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Amused by kids
I help my daughter's (2nd grade) teacher out a few times a week, which I really enjoy being able to do. It is a great thing, and the majority of the class are great kids. I really enjoy being able to help the teacher and work with the kids.
Right now what was my point again??
Oh yeah, today, I took a few of the kids upstairs to the computer lab, which is what I usually do on Tuesdays, but the funny part about it was, there was a dictionary up there. Now the kids that I usually take up there are absolutely funny, because they are smart as whips, and they are just, well to put it simply unique, but thats good. Anyway, one of the little boys spotted the dictionary and decided to look up foul words. And he looked up B!t$h which I didnt know about until later, then one of the other boys, (whose mom happens to be a teacher at the school) decided he was going to find as many bad words in the dictionary as he could. And he knew how to spell them all, which was even more amusing. I told him he shouldnt do it, but of course he is a kid, and not going to listen most of the time, but he spent the next few minutes trying to find bad words. The last word he spent time finding was Hate.
Now, they don't like some of the kids in the class, and were going around saying Hate, so I told them it wasnt a very nice word to say, and it is a very strong word to say, which I whole heartedly believe (My daughter rarely uses that word, because she thinks it is a bad word.)
But then he looked up the definition and found that the other word in the dictionary for hate was detest, so he walked around for the next couple of minutes saying he dested this person.
Its funny, the things kids say and do for that matter, and most of the time its simply quite amusing. Especially the ones who are pretty smart.
These kids are great, I hardly ever had any issues with any of them.
Its funny sometimes to listen to a bunch of kids talk, and what they have to say.
They have a website that they get on for learning purposes, which is a great website, well actually the two they are allowed on are great, but they always try to convince me to let them get on other websites, and they are always competing with one another as to whom can get higher on the School high score list and the State High Score list. And that is pretty neat too. They are always trying to bump one another off the list.
I dont remember being this age, I dont remember any of the things I said or did near that age, I know we didnt have access to computers like the kids do today, if we had access at all.
Listening to them talk about who likes whom, and who did what and teasing one another ALL IN FUN, not making fun of, but just jesting them, is funny. Sometimes they can go a little to far, and then its time to step in, but the ones that I usually get to work with are really quite humourous. Even some of the other ones I dont get to work with daily (while I am there) are pretty interesting to talk to.
However it is great to sit back and listen to them, and their vast knowledge of things. Or what they think they know. And even them telling me I am wrong and trying to prove me so.
It is widely said and known that Kids Say the Darndest Things, but to actually sit back and listen to them is really very entertaining I think.
Right now what was my point again??
Oh yeah, today, I took a few of the kids upstairs to the computer lab, which is what I usually do on Tuesdays, but the funny part about it was, there was a dictionary up there. Now the kids that I usually take up there are absolutely funny, because they are smart as whips, and they are just, well to put it simply unique, but thats good. Anyway, one of the little boys spotted the dictionary and decided to look up foul words. And he looked up B!t$h which I didnt know about until later, then one of the other boys, (whose mom happens to be a teacher at the school) decided he was going to find as many bad words in the dictionary as he could. And he knew how to spell them all, which was even more amusing. I told him he shouldnt do it, but of course he is a kid, and not going to listen most of the time, but he spent the next few minutes trying to find bad words. The last word he spent time finding was Hate.
Now, they don't like some of the kids in the class, and were going around saying Hate, so I told them it wasnt a very nice word to say, and it is a very strong word to say, which I whole heartedly believe (My daughter rarely uses that word, because she thinks it is a bad word.)
But then he looked up the definition and found that the other word in the dictionary for hate was detest, so he walked around for the next couple of minutes saying he dested this person.
Its funny, the things kids say and do for that matter, and most of the time its simply quite amusing. Especially the ones who are pretty smart.
These kids are great, I hardly ever had any issues with any of them.
Its funny sometimes to listen to a bunch of kids talk, and what they have to say.
They have a website that they get on for learning purposes, which is a great website, well actually the two they are allowed on are great, but they always try to convince me to let them get on other websites, and they are always competing with one another as to whom can get higher on the School high score list and the State High Score list. And that is pretty neat too. They are always trying to bump one another off the list.
I dont remember being this age, I dont remember any of the things I said or did near that age, I know we didnt have access to computers like the kids do today, if we had access at all.
Listening to them talk about who likes whom, and who did what and teasing one another ALL IN FUN, not making fun of, but just jesting them, is funny. Sometimes they can go a little to far, and then its time to step in, but the ones that I usually get to work with are really quite humourous. Even some of the other ones I dont get to work with daily (while I am there) are pretty interesting to talk to.
However it is great to sit back and listen to them, and their vast knowledge of things. Or what they think they know. And even them telling me I am wrong and trying to prove me so.
It is widely said and known that Kids Say the Darndest Things, but to actually sit back and listen to them is really very entertaining I think.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Resolutions
Resolutions, I am not very big on making them, I do not tend to follow through with them, I read my sisters, and hope she is able to follow through with them, I know she can do it, and I completely agree with the fact that she should stop trying to stop trying to over think things. That is what she does, and it makes her who she is. And she is a Great Woman/Aunt/Sister/Friend.
Okay that said, I dont make resolutions, I always have many things I work on in my life, every day which is what I try to work on. Those are listed below
1) Strength- I believe I am a strong person, but I lack strength in many ways, and am always trying to improve.
2) Patience- I am not patient, I never have been, and I think it is hereditary.
3) Understanding- Not in myself, because I understand who I am and what I need, but in people, which follows with the next one.
4) Tolerance-
5)Be happy with who I am and where I am, and live life with no regrets- You can not regret anything in life, as I wrote in another post. Simply put, if you do, you will have scars on your soul, and doubt in your heart. Its not right.
6) And the last one is to Enjoy Life. I do this every day, as much as I can, because everyday is not guaranteed, and you need to live life and be able to be happy. Enjoy my family, my friends, and appreciate them every day!
These are all things I work on every day of my life. Work to improve on and enjoy everyday.
Sometimes people need reminded of the things they work on in life. No matter what it may be.
Live life to where you are happy, Be who you want to be. DO NOT let other people dictate who you are or should be. Know in your heart that what you are doing is right for you at the time.
Everything Happens for a Reason, and something good, no matter how small, comes out of everything.
Love, with all of your heart. This is for friends and family, and love for a partner.
Give your ALL in all you do, you get what you give.
I hope that all of my friends, and all of my family know everyday of the year, how much they mean to me, how much I love them, and for those who are far way, how much I miss them.
Happy 2009.
Okay that said, I dont make resolutions, I always have many things I work on in my life, every day which is what I try to work on. Those are listed below
1) Strength- I believe I am a strong person, but I lack strength in many ways, and am always trying to improve.
2) Patience- I am not patient, I never have been, and I think it is hereditary.
3) Understanding- Not in myself, because I understand who I am and what I need, but in people, which follows with the next one.
4) Tolerance-
5)Be happy with who I am and where I am, and live life with no regrets- You can not regret anything in life, as I wrote in another post. Simply put, if you do, you will have scars on your soul, and doubt in your heart. Its not right.
6) And the last one is to Enjoy Life. I do this every day, as much as I can, because everyday is not guaranteed, and you need to live life and be able to be happy. Enjoy my family, my friends, and appreciate them every day!
These are all things I work on every day of my life. Work to improve on and enjoy everyday.
Sometimes people need reminded of the things they work on in life. No matter what it may be.
Live life to where you are happy, Be who you want to be. DO NOT let other people dictate who you are or should be. Know in your heart that what you are doing is right for you at the time.
Everything Happens for a Reason, and something good, no matter how small, comes out of everything.
Love, with all of your heart. This is for friends and family, and love for a partner.
Give your ALL in all you do, you get what you give.
I hope that all of my friends, and all of my family know everyday of the year, how much they mean to me, how much I love them, and for those who are far way, how much I miss them.
Happy 2009.
Frustration
Its not a secret that I dont care to go to the doctor, its not that I dont like doctors, because I have a very good friend that is a doctor, and she is wonderful.
What I dont like is most doctors I have come across, in the treatment of myself or my family.
It basically started when I was 13, I went to a neurologist, who amazingly told me, I had acne (which I knew) and Migraines (which I also knew, because they are horrible) While he gave me some medicine for them, learning to stop them before they start is something that is completely impossible, because I have so many triggers that are completely unavoidable.
Not just that, but most doctors I have seen have only told me things I already knew, like a few years ago, when I went to the hospital because I had swollen up because of a mosquito bite that had swollen to the size of a softball, well the point is, all they told me at the hospital, is that I am allergic, which I knew.
I am not a know it all, I am not brilliant, but I know what the heck I am talking about the majority of the time, but none of those doctors listened to what I had to say and took me seriously, and then only told me what I already knew, and had just told them, which is completely irritating.
Anyway, I write that because yesterday I had the most frustrating event of all happen. However it started the night before, My hubby got a bloody nose, and because of a few of the meds he is on, and because we couldnt get it to stop, we went to the hospital, the doctor at the hospital as semi nice, he told us to go to the nose surgeon and have them remove the packing the next day (new years eve) so I called the doctor on New Years Eve, and the doctor was a COMPLETE ASS, to put it mildly, I talked to him on the phone, and he was very rude, and all but called me stupid. In the way he spoke to me, not only pissed me off, but I felt like he was belittling me and that he felt superior. I told him what the er doctor said that he was supposed to have the packing removed that day and he told me, "I dont care what the doctor said, I will not remove the packing." And while I type it it doesnt seem as completely rude and mean spirited as it actually was, the tone of voice he had completely bewhildered me and my daughter who was sitting next to me listening to the conversation.
We had to go in to see him, because hubby is in a lot of pain and discomfort. So we got to the doctor's office, and we had to wait an hour and a half after the scheduled appointment time. I think having to wait more than 30 minutes is completely assinine. But we finally got called back. The doctor nor the nurses made any appology for his tardiness, and the nurse that typed everything up was rude, and when the doctor finally came him he was really rude too. He dismissed everything hubby and I had to say, again belittled us and talked over us. He stood with his back to me, and to the side of hubby, and when I asked him a question, he refused to look at me, and stared at the wall, or closed his eyes when he answered my question, again talking to me and hubby like we were stupid. Hubby asked him to remove the packing in his nose, the doctor refused, being an ass he told us, "If I remove it it will bleed again, I am not taking it out" (although he told me over the phone he could and clean and replace the packing) " And it will not come out until At the earliest Friday." He also went on to tell us that the dr in the ER was dumb (not in so many words) for not putting hubby on pain pills and antibiotics.
But get this, When we were in the ER, the dr was looking up Hubby's nose, he made clear mention of the fact that "Whoever did this surgery on your nose, mucked with something they shouldnt have it looks like." And he also said that the side of the nose that the surgery was meant to be done on didnt look like it had been done.
The doctor we saw on New Years eve was not the doctor who did the surgery, it was one of his partners, and maybe he was trying to cover his buddies butt, I dont know, but it is ridiculous.
Now, on to something else, yeah this isnt my usual form of writing, its actually a lot more venting, because I needed a form to release this stress on my shoulders.
I know not all doctors are this way, hubby has a great physician, daughter has a pretty cool dentist, and hubby has an okay cardiologist. And like I said, I have a great friend who is a doctor and a good one, so I know that there are good ones out there.
Just as I say this, its not just doctors, its people in general who think that they are superior to anyone that really ticks me off. And I know there are a lot of them out there, because whether it be my fortune or not, I have come across several of those types of people.
I dont care what people think of me, or whether or not they like me, but I treat everyone the way I would like to be treated, kindly and with the benifit of a doubt (respect, like trust, is not freely given, it MUST be earned). I tend to think of myself as a kind person, I would do almost anything for almost anyone. (depending on what it is and who you are to me)
Point being NO ONE deserves to be treated or talked to like they are stupid, (even if the person is or acts that way) Yeah we live in a world ful of Mo-Rons, but I will not talk to someone or treat someone in that manner.
I know I know, I am not a people person, but I am not outright rude to people.
Especially if my carreer was one in which I worked with people all the time, or if I was a physician, regardless of if it is a holiday or not, I would do my best to not treat people in that manner.
Okay, so that is enough of that....Thanks for listening.
What I dont like is most doctors I have come across, in the treatment of myself or my family.
It basically started when I was 13, I went to a neurologist, who amazingly told me, I had acne (which I knew) and Migraines (which I also knew, because they are horrible) While he gave me some medicine for them, learning to stop them before they start is something that is completely impossible, because I have so many triggers that are completely unavoidable.
Not just that, but most doctors I have seen have only told me things I already knew, like a few years ago, when I went to the hospital because I had swollen up because of a mosquito bite that had swollen to the size of a softball, well the point is, all they told me at the hospital, is that I am allergic, which I knew.
I am not a know it all, I am not brilliant, but I know what the heck I am talking about the majority of the time, but none of those doctors listened to what I had to say and took me seriously, and then only told me what I already knew, and had just told them, which is completely irritating.
Anyway, I write that because yesterday I had the most frustrating event of all happen. However it started the night before, My hubby got a bloody nose, and because of a few of the meds he is on, and because we couldnt get it to stop, we went to the hospital, the doctor at the hospital as semi nice, he told us to go to the nose surgeon and have them remove the packing the next day (new years eve) so I called the doctor on New Years Eve, and the doctor was a COMPLETE ASS, to put it mildly, I talked to him on the phone, and he was very rude, and all but called me stupid. In the way he spoke to me, not only pissed me off, but I felt like he was belittling me and that he felt superior. I told him what the er doctor said that he was supposed to have the packing removed that day and he told me, "I dont care what the doctor said, I will not remove the packing." And while I type it it doesnt seem as completely rude and mean spirited as it actually was, the tone of voice he had completely bewhildered me and my daughter who was sitting next to me listening to the conversation.
We had to go in to see him, because hubby is in a lot of pain and discomfort. So we got to the doctor's office, and we had to wait an hour and a half after the scheduled appointment time. I think having to wait more than 30 minutes is completely assinine. But we finally got called back. The doctor nor the nurses made any appology for his tardiness, and the nurse that typed everything up was rude, and when the doctor finally came him he was really rude too. He dismissed everything hubby and I had to say, again belittled us and talked over us. He stood with his back to me, and to the side of hubby, and when I asked him a question, he refused to look at me, and stared at the wall, or closed his eyes when he answered my question, again talking to me and hubby like we were stupid. Hubby asked him to remove the packing in his nose, the doctor refused, being an ass he told us, "If I remove it it will bleed again, I am not taking it out" (although he told me over the phone he could and clean and replace the packing) " And it will not come out until At the earliest Friday." He also went on to tell us that the dr in the ER was dumb (not in so many words) for not putting hubby on pain pills and antibiotics.
But get this, When we were in the ER, the dr was looking up Hubby's nose, he made clear mention of the fact that "Whoever did this surgery on your nose, mucked with something they shouldnt have it looks like." And he also said that the side of the nose that the surgery was meant to be done on didnt look like it had been done.
The doctor we saw on New Years eve was not the doctor who did the surgery, it was one of his partners, and maybe he was trying to cover his buddies butt, I dont know, but it is ridiculous.
Now, on to something else, yeah this isnt my usual form of writing, its actually a lot more venting, because I needed a form to release this stress on my shoulders.
I know not all doctors are this way, hubby has a great physician, daughter has a pretty cool dentist, and hubby has an okay cardiologist. And like I said, I have a great friend who is a doctor and a good one, so I know that there are good ones out there.
Just as I say this, its not just doctors, its people in general who think that they are superior to anyone that really ticks me off. And I know there are a lot of them out there, because whether it be my fortune or not, I have come across several of those types of people.
I dont care what people think of me, or whether or not they like me, but I treat everyone the way I would like to be treated, kindly and with the benifit of a doubt (respect, like trust, is not freely given, it MUST be earned). I tend to think of myself as a kind person, I would do almost anything for almost anyone. (depending on what it is and who you are to me)
Point being NO ONE deserves to be treated or talked to like they are stupid, (even if the person is or acts that way) Yeah we live in a world ful of Mo-Rons, but I will not talk to someone or treat someone in that manner.
I know I know, I am not a people person, but I am not outright rude to people.
Especially if my carreer was one in which I worked with people all the time, or if I was a physician, regardless of if it is a holiday or not, I would do my best to not treat people in that manner.
Okay, so that is enough of that....Thanks for listening.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Ideas?
Right now, I am fresh out of ideas as of things to write. I have tried to write a couple of blogs, but all have ended up in the trash, because I couldnt get my point across. So if you have any ideas for things I should write about let me know please.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Trust?
~Trust, defined means an assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, and/or truth of someone or something.
~Friend defined is one attached to another by affection or esteem.
There is no denying I have trust issues. I dont even try to hide that fact, in fact, I am completely honest about that fact. And sadly as the years move on, and I grow "Older" and wiser, I trust fewer and fewer people.
There is someone in my family, who has a very similar attitude, or way of thinking, who doesnt get along with many people, and who prefers to remain to herself, with select family around her, sadly even some of her children are not included in that inner circle. I know I am not completely the same thinking as her, as I allow people into my life, and am willing to trust, but it is something a person has to earn, and can very easily be lost. I do not want to end up pushing people away though, and I do my best to make sure that the people who mean so much to me remain in my life.
There are very few people in which I trust completely. I know I can rely on them for anything, and they happen to be wonderful people, and great friends and family.
Being lied to so much throughout life about various instances has made me very cynical. I see the world through shaded glasses. Which in short means, while I believe in the good in people, I dont necessarily believe in people. Which I do not mean to sound condescending about it but that is how I feel about most people.
When you go through life believing something about someone that wasnt true to begin with, then MANY years later to find out that what you thought was true actually was fabricated, brings about a whole lot of questions, as to what actually was the truth.
I have a good support system in my life. People, who like I said, I trust emphatically, who help me to understand and make sense of many things.
Family is a great thing, especially when they are on your side.
I read a question once, asking "Are you the same person you were 5 years ago?"
Well, I am the same person I was 5 years ago, only wiser. With the help of my great friends and family.
However, I am not the same person I was in High School, or that I was as a child. I have not only grown up, and found truths in my life, but I have become MORE secure in who I am, and where I belong. And all the while, in High School, I trusted many more people than I do now, and felt worse about myself.
I am happy with who I am, and dont regret anything in life. Sometimes I try to figure out why I have gone through certain things, try to figure out what is what from the past, BUT I wouldnt change any of it if I could.
I was told before I should regret not going to prom, being a wall flower- anti-social, not having a lot of friends in school. I dont, not by a long shot, none of that would make me who I am. I went to a dance for school in 7th grade, it was boring, and I had no fun. being Anti-Social, or more a Wall Flower that doesnt bother me either, why? because, I know who my true friends are now, and I knew then that people who wanted to know me did know me.
I do not go out of my way to meet people. But I let people into my life, if they choose to be in it. I do my best not to push people away. And I am as true a friend to them as I can be. And I hope they return the favor.
Regretting anything in life, wont get you anywhere. However it will get you a scar on your soul. It gets you a pain in your heart, and gets you questioning much about life.
No, I dont regret anything about my life. Yup some of the things, that have happened have really sucked, some of them have been pretty difficult to deal with, but MANY of them recently have been wonderful.
What I have treasured most the past few years, besides my hubby and daughter (which is the greatest treasure), is learning things about my dad and being able to spend some time with him and my "mom" (step-mom sounds a little mean to me), bringing some great people back into my life, whom have become family. And one that is right up there with my hubby and daughter, is becoming closer with my sister.
Trust is fading in many people, simply because they dont try to keep it. Trust is Not freely given, it must be earned, and maintained, so to speak, because it can very easily be lost.
In life there are very few GREAT people who walk into your life and stay. KEEP them close. Dont let them slip away. Guard them with your heart. Treasure them. And know they are there for you.
For those who mean the world to me, and you know who you are, Thank you for being there for me, thank you for letting me trust in you, thank you for being you. I greatly treasure you, and the fact that you are in my life. Not just now, but ALWAYS.
Much Love.
~Friend defined is one attached to another by affection or esteem.
There is no denying I have trust issues. I dont even try to hide that fact, in fact, I am completely honest about that fact. And sadly as the years move on, and I grow "Older" and wiser, I trust fewer and fewer people.
There is someone in my family, who has a very similar attitude, or way of thinking, who doesnt get along with many people, and who prefers to remain to herself, with select family around her, sadly even some of her children are not included in that inner circle. I know I am not completely the same thinking as her, as I allow people into my life, and am willing to trust, but it is something a person has to earn, and can very easily be lost. I do not want to end up pushing people away though, and I do my best to make sure that the people who mean so much to me remain in my life.
There are very few people in which I trust completely. I know I can rely on them for anything, and they happen to be wonderful people, and great friends and family.
Being lied to so much throughout life about various instances has made me very cynical. I see the world through shaded glasses. Which in short means, while I believe in the good in people, I dont necessarily believe in people. Which I do not mean to sound condescending about it but that is how I feel about most people.
When you go through life believing something about someone that wasnt true to begin with, then MANY years later to find out that what you thought was true actually was fabricated, brings about a whole lot of questions, as to what actually was the truth.
I have a good support system in my life. People, who like I said, I trust emphatically, who help me to understand and make sense of many things.
Family is a great thing, especially when they are on your side.
I read a question once, asking "Are you the same person you were 5 years ago?"
Well, I am the same person I was 5 years ago, only wiser. With the help of my great friends and family.
However, I am not the same person I was in High School, or that I was as a child. I have not only grown up, and found truths in my life, but I have become MORE secure in who I am, and where I belong. And all the while, in High School, I trusted many more people than I do now, and felt worse about myself.
I am happy with who I am, and dont regret anything in life. Sometimes I try to figure out why I have gone through certain things, try to figure out what is what from the past, BUT I wouldnt change any of it if I could.
I was told before I should regret not going to prom, being a wall flower- anti-social, not having a lot of friends in school. I dont, not by a long shot, none of that would make me who I am. I went to a dance for school in 7th grade, it was boring, and I had no fun. being Anti-Social, or more a Wall Flower that doesnt bother me either, why? because, I know who my true friends are now, and I knew then that people who wanted to know me did know me.
I do not go out of my way to meet people. But I let people into my life, if they choose to be in it. I do my best not to push people away. And I am as true a friend to them as I can be. And I hope they return the favor.
Regretting anything in life, wont get you anywhere. However it will get you a scar on your soul. It gets you a pain in your heart, and gets you questioning much about life.
No, I dont regret anything about my life. Yup some of the things, that have happened have really sucked, some of them have been pretty difficult to deal with, but MANY of them recently have been wonderful.
What I have treasured most the past few years, besides my hubby and daughter (which is the greatest treasure), is learning things about my dad and being able to spend some time with him and my "mom" (step-mom sounds a little mean to me), bringing some great people back into my life, whom have become family. And one that is right up there with my hubby and daughter, is becoming closer with my sister.
Trust is fading in many people, simply because they dont try to keep it. Trust is Not freely given, it must be earned, and maintained, so to speak, because it can very easily be lost.
In life there are very few GREAT people who walk into your life and stay. KEEP them close. Dont let them slip away. Guard them with your heart. Treasure them. And know they are there for you.
For those who mean the world to me, and you know who you are, Thank you for being there for me, thank you for letting me trust in you, thank you for being you. I greatly treasure you, and the fact that you are in my life. Not just now, but ALWAYS.
Much Love.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Memories??
Merriam Webster defines Memories as: the power or process of reproducing or recalling what has been learned and retained especially through associative mechanisms and the storage of things learned and retained from an organism’s activity or experience as evidenced by modification of structure or behavior or by recall and recognition.
I recently heard that it is not “normal” to not remember a lot of events from your childhood. And that if you do not remember a lot, that you have blocked it out of your memory for some reason.
I have never had many memories from growing up. And thinking back on to what very little I can actually remember, the things I do remember, which are very few and far between, are mostly because something bad happened. I remember some good things, but not many.
I was just reading a post that my sister wrote about an adventure we had, that I don’t remember happening. She remembers back when I was really little, probably more than I do.
Things I remember were like walking really far one morning to get to the baby sitter, because the car broke down. Getting yelled at by the baby sitter, getting yelled at by my mom.
I remember when I was in second grade, my brother, sister and I were late to school pretty much every day, because the baby sitter decided she wanted to drop her kids off at school first, even though their school started later than ours. I remember getting yelled at because a crow that had come down the chimney into the house was locked in the den, and I had forgotten and opened the door, and got in trouble. See all of these things aren’t great memories, and are pretty close to the only ones I have for childhood, with the exception of a couple of good memories.
Some people can recall a lot of things about their childhood. I have talked to my hubby about his childhood, and he remembers a whole lot more than I do. He remembers a lot about school and things he did. I cant recall much of anything from elementary, or middle school (besides walking home from school every day), and recall very little from high school, besides mostly not wanting to be there.
So it leaves me to wonder several things, like
1) Is the little bit that I remember actually “normal”?
2) If it is not normal, then why am I repressing so many memories?
3) What would be the cause of the repressed memories?
I know I am not what is described as “Normal” and I have no desire to be. I have no desire to fit in, and I would rather be happy with me, and have my family be happy with me, then to try to fit in. Its not logical to try to please everyone else, and to still remain true to yourself.
There is a saying:
“To thine own self be true”
And if you go around trying to please everyone else, or trying to fit in, then you aren’t being true to yourself.
Maybe I am not being logical thinking that way, but it doesn’t really matter. I know what and who I am, and I know the way I think, and whether or not what I am thinking may be detrimental or just hurtful to anyone. And for the most part it isn’t.
The only part of my personality that is hurtful to people is the fact that I am pretty blunt. I usually say what I am thinking, and tell people how I feel about any and everything. But usually I am also very shy, unless I do have something to say. Then I don’t beat around the bush.
Anyway, whether or not I remember as many things as the “average normal” person, isn’t much of a factor to me, but it does make me wonder a little why I don’t remember as much as “most” people do.
I recently heard that it is not “normal” to not remember a lot of events from your childhood. And that if you do not remember a lot, that you have blocked it out of your memory for some reason.
I have never had many memories from growing up. And thinking back on to what very little I can actually remember, the things I do remember, which are very few and far between, are mostly because something bad happened. I remember some good things, but not many.
I was just reading a post that my sister wrote about an adventure we had, that I don’t remember happening. She remembers back when I was really little, probably more than I do.
Things I remember were like walking really far one morning to get to the baby sitter, because the car broke down. Getting yelled at by the baby sitter, getting yelled at by my mom.
I remember when I was in second grade, my brother, sister and I were late to school pretty much every day, because the baby sitter decided she wanted to drop her kids off at school first, even though their school started later than ours. I remember getting yelled at because a crow that had come down the chimney into the house was locked in the den, and I had forgotten and opened the door, and got in trouble. See all of these things aren’t great memories, and are pretty close to the only ones I have for childhood, with the exception of a couple of good memories.
Some people can recall a lot of things about their childhood. I have talked to my hubby about his childhood, and he remembers a whole lot more than I do. He remembers a lot about school and things he did. I cant recall much of anything from elementary, or middle school (besides walking home from school every day), and recall very little from high school, besides mostly not wanting to be there.
So it leaves me to wonder several things, like
1) Is the little bit that I remember actually “normal”?
2) If it is not normal, then why am I repressing so many memories?
3) What would be the cause of the repressed memories?
I know I am not what is described as “Normal” and I have no desire to be. I have no desire to fit in, and I would rather be happy with me, and have my family be happy with me, then to try to fit in. Its not logical to try to please everyone else, and to still remain true to yourself.
There is a saying:
“To thine own self be true”
And if you go around trying to please everyone else, or trying to fit in, then you aren’t being true to yourself.
Maybe I am not being logical thinking that way, but it doesn’t really matter. I know what and who I am, and I know the way I think, and whether or not what I am thinking may be detrimental or just hurtful to anyone. And for the most part it isn’t.
The only part of my personality that is hurtful to people is the fact that I am pretty blunt. I usually say what I am thinking, and tell people how I feel about any and everything. But usually I am also very shy, unless I do have something to say. Then I don’t beat around the bush.
Anyway, whether or not I remember as many things as the “average normal” person, isn’t much of a factor to me, but it does make me wonder a little why I don’t remember as much as “most” people do.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Frazzled
I have had a migraine more often than not (or more like several migraines) over the past few weeks, and it is really getting to me.
To be honest, it feels like someone took a baseball bat and cracked me in the back of the head. I am in a lot of pain, and pretty much nothing relieves it. Occasionally the Excedrin Migraine will help, but not often, more often than not I am in pain lately, and it really sucks. I know what part of it is, I havent been sleeping well, especially the last few nights, and the change in weather, and walking from inside where it is warm to outside where it is cold, that doesnt help.
I have so many migraine triggers though, that its absolutely insane, not to mention very annoying.
One reason for the migraine, like I said is I havent been sleeping well. I dont sleep well to begin with, but the past week it has been a bit explained, as to the lack of more sleep. The past week, and probably for the next two weeks, I am (and have been) pretty frazzled, worried, however you want to put it.
The Hubby, went to the doctor a week ago friday, which there is nothing wrong with that, the doctors were worried about his triglycerides, and his sugars. Both of which his doctor said seemed to be alright. So that is one less worry, however, his doctor also referred him to an Ear,Nose and throat doctor, which in it of itself is no big deal. But They decided that they are going to do surgery, on his nose to fix what was broken many years ago, to maybe help him breathe better. They said it isnt much of a big deal, and it is an outpatient surgery. But yeah, I am a worry wort. Always have been, thats just my nature.
What has me frazzled though, is the fact that they are taking him off of some of his meds. Meds he needs, but the reason they are taking him off of them, is because they can not do the surgery with him on it, because they thin his blood.
The doctors said that they do this sort of thing all of the time, but still, it has me very worried, and not to mention scared.... I have the feeling everything will be just fine, but it doesnt stop the worry.
The surgery is to take place next Monday.
I just had to write my feelings down, maybe it will help with some of the stress, and help to relieve some of the migraine tension. Although I doubt it. But sometimes it does help.
Anyway, I am trying to find things to take my mind off of the worry, it isnt working thus far.
Thank you all for being there for us always. We Love you.
..........
Oh but hey guess what....SNOW is on its way. Another bout of snow is supposed to hit today, they said just a dusting, but some people might get up to an inch....that is probably north of here, but we will see some snow....that seems quite interesting. Too bad I am not going to watch it, the windows are going to fog up, because I have to do laundry today, and the windows fog when I do laundry, long lame story, but bascially it is because of the incompetence of the people who maintain the place here, (and the dumb managers and lack of care by the owners as well) but thats what today entails.
To be honest, it feels like someone took a baseball bat and cracked me in the back of the head. I am in a lot of pain, and pretty much nothing relieves it. Occasionally the Excedrin Migraine will help, but not often, more often than not I am in pain lately, and it really sucks. I know what part of it is, I havent been sleeping well, especially the last few nights, and the change in weather, and walking from inside where it is warm to outside where it is cold, that doesnt help.
I have so many migraine triggers though, that its absolutely insane, not to mention very annoying.
One reason for the migraine, like I said is I havent been sleeping well. I dont sleep well to begin with, but the past week it has been a bit explained, as to the lack of more sleep. The past week, and probably for the next two weeks, I am (and have been) pretty frazzled, worried, however you want to put it.
The Hubby, went to the doctor a week ago friday, which there is nothing wrong with that, the doctors were worried about his triglycerides, and his sugars. Both of which his doctor said seemed to be alright. So that is one less worry, however, his doctor also referred him to an Ear,Nose and throat doctor, which in it of itself is no big deal. But They decided that they are going to do surgery, on his nose to fix what was broken many years ago, to maybe help him breathe better. They said it isnt much of a big deal, and it is an outpatient surgery. But yeah, I am a worry wort. Always have been, thats just my nature.
What has me frazzled though, is the fact that they are taking him off of some of his meds. Meds he needs, but the reason they are taking him off of them, is because they can not do the surgery with him on it, because they thin his blood.
The doctors said that they do this sort of thing all of the time, but still, it has me very worried, and not to mention scared.... I have the feeling everything will be just fine, but it doesnt stop the worry.
The surgery is to take place next Monday.
I just had to write my feelings down, maybe it will help with some of the stress, and help to relieve some of the migraine tension. Although I doubt it. But sometimes it does help.
Anyway, I am trying to find things to take my mind off of the worry, it isnt working thus far.
Thank you all for being there for us always. We Love you.
..........
Oh but hey guess what....SNOW is on its way. Another bout of snow is supposed to hit today, they said just a dusting, but some people might get up to an inch....that is probably north of here, but we will see some snow....that seems quite interesting. Too bad I am not going to watch it, the windows are going to fog up, because I have to do laundry today, and the windows fog when I do laundry, long lame story, but bascially it is because of the incompetence of the people who maintain the place here, (and the dumb managers and lack of care by the owners as well) but thats what today entails.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
ThankFul
I just wanted to write a quick blog telling My Family (Yup Tammy including you and yours) that you all mean the world to me. And I appreciate you all.
And my friends too.
I am so thankful for my wonderful Family and Friends. And wanted to take the time to tell you all, especially today, Thanksgiving.
I appreciate all you do for us and with us. And I want you all to know that. Whether or not I say it often enough. Its the truth. I really am thankful for all you do.
Happy Holidays.
And my friends too.
I am so thankful for my wonderful Family and Friends. And wanted to take the time to tell you all, especially today, Thanksgiving.
I appreciate all you do for us and with us. And I want you all to know that. Whether or not I say it often enough. Its the truth. I really am thankful for all you do.
Happy Holidays.
Friday, November 21, 2008
To My Sister
I want to tell you I am sorry,
For not talking to you more,
For not telling you how I felt,
And for coming to you with some of my Bigger problems.
I want to tell you Thank you,
For being who you are,
For being there for me and with me,
And for letting me come to you now.
You are a wonderful sister,
You have always been.
There were times when we were younger that I wished that we were closer,
But I am happy we are now.
You have explained so much to me,
Helping me to see the light,
Showing me that the way I thought, wasnt really right,
And Showing me how it really was
Life has taken us down many different roads,
In very different directions from each other.
But still and always you are there for me,
and I want you to know how much that means.
More than words can say,
More than I could ever show,
I am so thankful for you,
And That's what I want you to know.
For not talking to you more,
For not telling you how I felt,
And for coming to you with some of my Bigger problems.
I want to tell you Thank you,
For being who you are,
For being there for me and with me,
And for letting me come to you now.
You are a wonderful sister,
You have always been.
There were times when we were younger that I wished that we were closer,
But I am happy we are now.
You have explained so much to me,
Helping me to see the light,
Showing me that the way I thought, wasnt really right,
And Showing me how it really was
Life has taken us down many different roads,
In very different directions from each other.
But still and always you are there for me,
and I want you to know how much that means.
More than words can say,
More than I could ever show,
I am so thankful for you,
And That's what I want you to know.
Why I left both times
I want to explain something, I have said it before, but I want to say it again..... (and I am not going to use names)
When I left California almost nine years ago, I made a lot of people mad, and left many people hurt. I hurt someone that means the world to me, the most, my beautiful older sister. I hurt my parents too, but hurting my sister bothered me the most. And to a point still does today.
When I left for those two weeks in early 2000, I was pissed off, I had only planned on leaving for a few hours which turned into over night, and then into two weeks. But what happened was all basically a stupid argument between my mom and I involving my brother, that all came to a head and just made me so mad that I left because she said I couldn't.
For many years, mostly my high school years, I felt a lot of pressure on me. Maybe it was all in my head but maybe not. I felt I had to live up to Jess's great grades and any expectations anyone had for me, putting undue stress on myself and others around me I suppose. Then I was in a place I shouldnt have put myself into with a guy that had my self-esteem down to non-existent, and basically had me hoping for death. So when 2000 hit, I was slowly trying to pull myself and everything else together, and trying to be my own person. And I felt like I wasnt allowed to be able to do that. Even before I met my hubby, I told my mom I didnt belong in California, I told her I felt like I never belonged there. Yeah that made her upset, but I am not going to lie about something like that.
The reason for leaving the first time came down to where I was talking on the phone, and its not like I was doing anything to hurt anyone, but mom came in the room and stared at me, so I was telling the person I was talking to that I had to get going, anyway it goes that I didnt immediatly hang up, and so mom had My brother get on the phone and harass me every 30 seconds until I hung up.
After I got off the phone I was already mad that she had him do it that I went in to talk to her, and she ended up yelling at me, and I at her, her never having explained to me why I needed to urgently go get off the phone, and I told her I had to get out of the house for a little while she told me I couldnt leave, so I it made me want to even more. And I did. I grabbed a couple of things and left.
I stayed out a couple of hours, and then was too tired, and still too mad to go back, so I stayed out all night. When I came back in the morning, The locks on the front door were changed. She locked me out of the house. I dont know why, And have as of now still not been told. So I went back to get some clothes later that day.
Anyway long story short, the reason I came back, is because grandma told me I could no longer stay with her "because I was keeping her awake" although I was making no noise at all.
I heard a story which I dont really believe as to why I ended up fighting with my mom and then I came back. Tension and all still between us. She didnt even give me a house key, I had to get it from my brother.
Now as to the second time I left....Still all the time telling mom that I didnt belong in California, I continued on, I had met my hubby in dec of 99 and was talking to him online....I had been telling mom that I wanted to meet him, and then the chance finally came and he came out to california, and mom said he could stay with us (even though she will prolly say otherwise.) and I had been telling her the whole time, I was leaving, and that I didnt belong, and that I had felt for the longest time that moving with him was the right thing for me.
I knew it was where I belonged. That I belonged and still belong with him.
After I left lies were told about me to members of the family, such as I never said I was leaving, I never said that he was coming and all other sorts of things, and none of them have ever been straightened out, because no one has ever confronted me, I have only heard them third hand. But family seems to be cordial with me, although I know some of them are prolly still a little hurt. And I know they (or most of them) still have issues with the fact that I left, and now that I live so far away. I know they have all been relieved that I am happy, and to see that I am happy, and that I have a good life out here. And that I know I belong here, and that my heart is full.
My main reason for writing this is just to state that I dont know what they have heard of know about my reasons for leaving and about any of that. And I dont know if most of them know I am happy, as most of them havent seen it, and sadly, I only talk to them by email now, if at all, which is very sad to me.
But life goes on, and I am not going to live in the past. I dont hold grudges most of the time, and I am happy with who I am and where I am.
I am bothered that some family still seems irritated with me, but I can not and will not do anything about it, until they talk to ME, instead of talking ABOUT me.
Anyway, I just wanted to put that out there.
When I left California almost nine years ago, I made a lot of people mad, and left many people hurt. I hurt someone that means the world to me, the most, my beautiful older sister. I hurt my parents too, but hurting my sister bothered me the most. And to a point still does today.
When I left for those two weeks in early 2000, I was pissed off, I had only planned on leaving for a few hours which turned into over night, and then into two weeks. But what happened was all basically a stupid argument between my mom and I involving my brother, that all came to a head and just made me so mad that I left because she said I couldn't.
For many years, mostly my high school years, I felt a lot of pressure on me. Maybe it was all in my head but maybe not. I felt I had to live up to Jess's great grades and any expectations anyone had for me, putting undue stress on myself and others around me I suppose. Then I was in a place I shouldnt have put myself into with a guy that had my self-esteem down to non-existent, and basically had me hoping for death. So when 2000 hit, I was slowly trying to pull myself and everything else together, and trying to be my own person. And I felt like I wasnt allowed to be able to do that. Even before I met my hubby, I told my mom I didnt belong in California, I told her I felt like I never belonged there. Yeah that made her upset, but I am not going to lie about something like that.
The reason for leaving the first time came down to where I was talking on the phone, and its not like I was doing anything to hurt anyone, but mom came in the room and stared at me, so I was telling the person I was talking to that I had to get going, anyway it goes that I didnt immediatly hang up, and so mom had My brother get on the phone and harass me every 30 seconds until I hung up.
After I got off the phone I was already mad that she had him do it that I went in to talk to her, and she ended up yelling at me, and I at her, her never having explained to me why I needed to urgently go get off the phone, and I told her I had to get out of the house for a little while she told me I couldnt leave, so I it made me want to even more. And I did. I grabbed a couple of things and left.
I stayed out a couple of hours, and then was too tired, and still too mad to go back, so I stayed out all night. When I came back in the morning, The locks on the front door were changed. She locked me out of the house. I dont know why, And have as of now still not been told. So I went back to get some clothes later that day.
Anyway long story short, the reason I came back, is because grandma told me I could no longer stay with her "because I was keeping her awake" although I was making no noise at all.
I heard a story which I dont really believe as to why I ended up fighting with my mom and then I came back. Tension and all still between us. She didnt even give me a house key, I had to get it from my brother.
Now as to the second time I left....Still all the time telling mom that I didnt belong in California, I continued on, I had met my hubby in dec of 99 and was talking to him online....I had been telling mom that I wanted to meet him, and then the chance finally came and he came out to california, and mom said he could stay with us (even though she will prolly say otherwise.) and I had been telling her the whole time, I was leaving, and that I didnt belong, and that I had felt for the longest time that moving with him was the right thing for me.
I knew it was where I belonged. That I belonged and still belong with him.
After I left lies were told about me to members of the family, such as I never said I was leaving, I never said that he was coming and all other sorts of things, and none of them have ever been straightened out, because no one has ever confronted me, I have only heard them third hand. But family seems to be cordial with me, although I know some of them are prolly still a little hurt. And I know they (or most of them) still have issues with the fact that I left, and now that I live so far away. I know they have all been relieved that I am happy, and to see that I am happy, and that I have a good life out here. And that I know I belong here, and that my heart is full.
My main reason for writing this is just to state that I dont know what they have heard of know about my reasons for leaving and about any of that. And I dont know if most of them know I am happy, as most of them havent seen it, and sadly, I only talk to them by email now, if at all, which is very sad to me.
But life goes on, and I am not going to live in the past. I dont hold grudges most of the time, and I am happy with who I am and where I am.
I am bothered that some family still seems irritated with me, but I can not and will not do anything about it, until they talk to ME, instead of talking ABOUT me.
Anyway, I just wanted to put that out there.
Monday, November 17, 2008
World full of MO-RONS
Why is it that so many people in this world are SO dog-gonned Stupid?!
Seriously why? I really want to know....
WARNING SERIOUS VENTING AHEAD
This all stems from a lovely day on Friday, waiting around for the U*S guy to deliver part of the little ones Christmas Present, I knew it was coming, so I made sure I stayed home for it to arrive, (Anyone other than our regular U*S guy is an idiot I swear!)
Everyone already knows I dont care for U*S shipping, but when you buy online you usually dont have much of a choice as to what you get. Now anyway I checked the computer Friday Morning for the tracking on my package, and it said "Attempted to deliver, but no one was home to sign for it 11:15 AM" Ok that is a bunch of BULL CRAP! I was home, was sitting in the living room in fact, at that time, and for 20 minutes before and over an hour after, and NO ONE knocked on the damn door. So I went and contacted U*S, this went on Into the late Evening, because the mo-rons said that someone else had called using a different phone number saying they were me, and requesting to pick up the package. Well it wasnt me. I have no way of getting there to pick it up, and honestly, I have no desire to go there and pick it up in the middle of the night, I am not going to the middle of Cincinnati to pick it up. Finally I told them I wanted it put on the truck THIS MORNING for delivery. IT WASNT!!!!!! Go figure, so I just got off the phone again, short of calling the guy I was talking to a stupid idiot, because it wasnt his fault, it was the mo-ron lady that I talked to at the "local" Shipping Department, anyway they called back about five minutes ago saying it would be on tomorrow's truck. Thing is, I doubt it will be. I have lost faith in U*S a long time ago, and the only reason I still use them, is because for most of the companies I buy from there is no choice, but seriously I am debating on never using these companies again just because of the U*S and their lovely "Delivery Methods"
OKay, and besides from the lovely U*S people, I swear I am going to get a bumper sticker to put on my car that says "Hi Mo Ron, Do you think you can drive better today?" or Just simply "Get Your Head Out Of Your Ass, and Hang UP"
Sorry if you drive with the cell phone to your ear, but it really irritates me. Usually because people that do it, have no regard for other drivers, and are driving like bats out of hell, or just plain driving all over the road. I dont have a cell phone, dont have a need for one at the moment, but come on people be a little bit more courteous to other people and get off the stupid phone!
I know some states have laws about driving and talking on your cell phone, I think California is one of them. But here in Lovely KY there is no such law, thus we have stupid IDIOTS all over the road.....I have seen them, doing all of the following at the same time, Smoking, "Trying to drive", Talking on the cell phone, and eating....WHO in this world can do that safely...Thats right NO ONE....
I dont contribute to their stupidy, and to be honest am often glad I dont drive unless absolutely necessary, because if I did, I would have major Road Rage!
Ok enough belly aching for now, sorry sometimes when you are aggravated you just really need to get it out...And since I got this I think thats a good way to do it.....please forgive my lovely "french" too.... I may get irritated very easily,with some things, but it is more the stupidity of people that really is irritating.
Seriously why? I really want to know....
WARNING SERIOUS VENTING AHEAD
This all stems from a lovely day on Friday, waiting around for the U*S guy to deliver part of the little ones Christmas Present, I knew it was coming, so I made sure I stayed home for it to arrive, (Anyone other than our regular U*S guy is an idiot I swear!)
Everyone already knows I dont care for U*S shipping, but when you buy online you usually dont have much of a choice as to what you get. Now anyway I checked the computer Friday Morning for the tracking on my package, and it said "Attempted to deliver, but no one was home to sign for it 11:15 AM" Ok that is a bunch of BULL CRAP! I was home, was sitting in the living room in fact, at that time, and for 20 minutes before and over an hour after, and NO ONE knocked on the damn door. So I went and contacted U*S, this went on Into the late Evening, because the mo-rons said that someone else had called using a different phone number saying they were me, and requesting to pick up the package. Well it wasnt me. I have no way of getting there to pick it up, and honestly, I have no desire to go there and pick it up in the middle of the night, I am not going to the middle of Cincinnati to pick it up. Finally I told them I wanted it put on the truck THIS MORNING for delivery. IT WASNT!!!!!! Go figure, so I just got off the phone again, short of calling the guy I was talking to a stupid idiot, because it wasnt his fault, it was the mo-ron lady that I talked to at the "local" Shipping Department, anyway they called back about five minutes ago saying it would be on tomorrow's truck. Thing is, I doubt it will be. I have lost faith in U*S a long time ago, and the only reason I still use them, is because for most of the companies I buy from there is no choice, but seriously I am debating on never using these companies again just because of the U*S and their lovely "Delivery Methods"
OKay, and besides from the lovely U*S people, I swear I am going to get a bumper sticker to put on my car that says "Hi Mo Ron, Do you think you can drive better today?" or Just simply "Get Your Head Out Of Your Ass, and Hang UP"
Sorry if you drive with the cell phone to your ear, but it really irritates me. Usually because people that do it, have no regard for other drivers, and are driving like bats out of hell, or just plain driving all over the road. I dont have a cell phone, dont have a need for one at the moment, but come on people be a little bit more courteous to other people and get off the stupid phone!
I know some states have laws about driving and talking on your cell phone, I think California is one of them. But here in Lovely KY there is no such law, thus we have stupid IDIOTS all over the road.....I have seen them, doing all of the following at the same time, Smoking, "Trying to drive", Talking on the cell phone, and eating....WHO in this world can do that safely...Thats right NO ONE....
I dont contribute to their stupidy, and to be honest am often glad I dont drive unless absolutely necessary, because if I did, I would have major Road Rage!
Ok enough belly aching for now, sorry sometimes when you are aggravated you just really need to get it out...And since I got this I think thats a good way to do it.....please forgive my lovely "french" too.... I may get irritated very easily,with some things, but it is more the stupidity of people that really is irritating.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Marriage
Marriage defined simply means "a close and intimate union."
Being Married and being Legally Married are two entirely different things, well maybe not entirely different, but they are different.
Politically correct or not, being married DOES NOT mean you have to have a license telling you that you are together "forever" by law. It is not a piece of paper stating that you have his name forever.
People can be Legally married and not be happy. It happens all the time. Thus the reason for so many divorces.
Many states have Common Law Marriage, which means that if you have lived your life together with someone for so many years, that you by common law are married to that person. Other states have chosen to not enact this law.
2000 years ago, did people go get a license to get married? No, they didnt have such a thing, they stood in front of someone who performed a ceremony and betrothed them together forever.
Nowadays people are getting married without thinking that Forever is Forever. And with second thoughts, or jealousy towards their significant others. Going into any commitment, whether it be a marriage or a spiritual commitment to a significant other, You can not have jealousy, or second thoughts, and you need to think about forever.
Some people forget that when you are getting married to someone that there are BOTH good and bad times, and sometimes really rough and tough times. Its all a part of life, and Marriage.
Not just because they are good looking, or they make you laugh or make you feel good, but for all of them. They take you as you are, and you take them for who they are.
Marriage is a trust, a heartfelt union of two bodies, minds and souls for a period of time, which should be forever.
Now getting to my point. I am not Legally Married. But I am Married. I have never stood before a judge and pledged my love for him. I have no piece of paper telling me that we are going to be together forever. I have not his last name.
BUT I have his heart, I have his Love and he is my life. I have pledged my love to him. And he to me, and we feel we are married, regardless of what the laws say, and what anyone else might say, or think.
We have had many people judge us because of the age difference, and many people dont try to understand.
Through good times and bad times, through wonderful times and hard times, I am right here beside him. For better of worse, forever and ever.
When you love someone you love them for who they are, heart, mind, body, and soul.
He is my heart, he is my soul, and he makes me whole. He understands me, and he completes me (as much as that sounds like a cheesy quote from a movie, its not). He comforts me, and treats me right. He is my best friend, and he is always here for me.
Married legally or not, I am married to him, he and I are a wonderful union, and we fit together nicely.
Some people understand that, some people may not, and to be completely honest, it doesnt matter to me, because I know what I have, and I am truly blessed to have it. What I know is I do not need a piece of paper to tell me that he is my Husband.
I am not saying that it would not be nice to be legally married, because you know what, it would. It would be nice to legally have his last name, but it isnt everything.
I am happy, he is happy, our family is happy, and that is what is important.
You have to take life as it is handed to you. And live life for what it is. Enjoy the love that comes into your life. And Celebrate it.
True Love is out there for everyone. Finding it is not always easy. But its there.
Everything Happens for a Reason, Something good, no matter how small, comes out of everything.
It seems to me though that Forever, well it just doesnt seem that long.
Being Married and being Legally Married are two entirely different things, well maybe not entirely different, but they are different.
Politically correct or not, being married DOES NOT mean you have to have a license telling you that you are together "forever" by law. It is not a piece of paper stating that you have his name forever.
People can be Legally married and not be happy. It happens all the time. Thus the reason for so many divorces.
Many states have Common Law Marriage, which means that if you have lived your life together with someone for so many years, that you by common law are married to that person. Other states have chosen to not enact this law.
2000 years ago, did people go get a license to get married? No, they didnt have such a thing, they stood in front of someone who performed a ceremony and betrothed them together forever.
Nowadays people are getting married without thinking that Forever is Forever. And with second thoughts, or jealousy towards their significant others. Going into any commitment, whether it be a marriage or a spiritual commitment to a significant other, You can not have jealousy, or second thoughts, and you need to think about forever.
Some people forget that when you are getting married to someone that there are BOTH good and bad times, and sometimes really rough and tough times. Its all a part of life, and Marriage.
Not just because they are good looking, or they make you laugh or make you feel good, but for all of them. They take you as you are, and you take them for who they are.
Marriage is a trust, a heartfelt union of two bodies, minds and souls for a period of time, which should be forever.
Now getting to my point. I am not Legally Married. But I am Married. I have never stood before a judge and pledged my love for him. I have no piece of paper telling me that we are going to be together forever. I have not his last name.
BUT I have his heart, I have his Love and he is my life. I have pledged my love to him. And he to me, and we feel we are married, regardless of what the laws say, and what anyone else might say, or think.
We have had many people judge us because of the age difference, and many people dont try to understand.
Through good times and bad times, through wonderful times and hard times, I am right here beside him. For better of worse, forever and ever.
When you love someone you love them for who they are, heart, mind, body, and soul.
He is my heart, he is my soul, and he makes me whole. He understands me, and he completes me (as much as that sounds like a cheesy quote from a movie, its not). He comforts me, and treats me right. He is my best friend, and he is always here for me.
Married legally or not, I am married to him, he and I are a wonderful union, and we fit together nicely.
Some people understand that, some people may not, and to be completely honest, it doesnt matter to me, because I know what I have, and I am truly blessed to have it. What I know is I do not need a piece of paper to tell me that he is my Husband.
I am not saying that it would not be nice to be legally married, because you know what, it would. It would be nice to legally have his last name, but it isnt everything.
I am happy, he is happy, our family is happy, and that is what is important.
You have to take life as it is handed to you. And live life for what it is. Enjoy the love that comes into your life. And Celebrate it.
True Love is out there for everyone. Finding it is not always easy. But its there.
Everything Happens for a Reason, Something good, no matter how small, comes out of everything.
It seems to me though that Forever, well it just doesnt seem that long.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
